Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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