CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
