Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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