im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
