I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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