She's JV to your varsity
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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