Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize