I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
