im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
