Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You're like the curious george of whores
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
