You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
