THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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