Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
