she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
