I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
