You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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