everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You are a genius and a whore.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
