I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
