I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I wish I could teleport
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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