Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He passed out mid-signature
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Sext me about skeletons
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
