he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
