i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize