just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
