you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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