ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
