so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
someone owes me an orgasm
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
