roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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