forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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