super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
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