Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i came on her dog
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
