OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My dick has a subreddit
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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