Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
