Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
