after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize