He asked me if I "almost moaned"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
