also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
