She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
