it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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