Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize