Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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