Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
