Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
