Umm I'm too high to move.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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