ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize