Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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