why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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