Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
