Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
