Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
