What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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