Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
