Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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