hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
