in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
