Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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