I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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