There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
