I understand Curling. That high.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
