Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
