i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
