Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
