Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
