when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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