They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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