How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
