I didn't shave. On purpose
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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