Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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